Category: domestic violence survivor

Including Domestic Violence in #ShowUsYourLeave

#ShowUsYourLeave is shining a needed light on how companies support their employees outside of work. TheSkimm started this empowering and inspiring movement, and it has been amazing to see the LinkedIn feed fill up with companies sharing comprehensive, thoughtful, and generous plans to support parenting, caregiving, and well-being.  However, there is one glaring omission from each of these #ShowUsYourLeave memes and the important policies behind them: Support for employees experi... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, June 6, 2022

No Ordinary Love

I walk calmly toward the door to the garage. My heart pounding in my chest. Just a few more steps. In my car, out the driveway. As I drive away, my whole body sighs deeply. Am I safe? I glance in the rearview mirror to see if he’s following me. My mind is racing. I call my lawyer, then the locksmith. Just a few minutes before, I was standing in my backyard talking to a repairman about the septic tank. My husband shows up and starts talking to the guy as if he still lives there. I&rsquo... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, May 9, 2022


As I sit in the hospital waiting to be seen, I try to figure out the events that led me here. The blood rushes down my face and my nose and head throb. I am lucky to be alive, and I pray that I will be okay. I am grateful that I left my house when I did. The nurse walks in and asks if I can hear her. When I look up, I can see the outline of her body, but the details are blurry.  She tells me to follow her back to triage. She pauses, turns back, and looks at me, "Don’t worry yo... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, March 21, 2022

Unknown Battle Scar: The Hidden Wounds

As a senior leader in the Army Reserve, I am trained to be a warrior and to be strong. I am trained to be able to deploy at all times and lead my troops to the Army Standard. I am trained to not show weakness and if I do show any sign of weakness or emotion, I am told to suck it up or get over it. So, when I hear these words constantly, it is ingrained in me that I cannot cry or have a weak moment because I do not want my soldiers, peers, or leaders to think I am not capable of doing my job;... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, November 8, 2021

The Aftermath of Domestic Violence

"I don't give a shit about your stupid little teen soap opera." A seemingly simple statement, albeit a bit nasty. But it was said with such vitriol that it stopped me in my tracks for a second. It was the first time he had ever spoken to me like that, and I was caught off guard by the gruff in his voice. All I wanted to do was watch a show that comforted me, and I was super confused as to why he was reacting this way. I ultimately shrugged it off. It was only years later as I w... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, July 12, 2021

But, Why Did You Stay…?

I knew it would never happen to me.  I was way too independent and I would never let a man belittle me, let alone hit me.  As a prosecutor in the third largest county in the United States, I was assigned to a special division to prosecute domestic violence cases where the victim wanted charges dropped against her abuser. I remember being so frustrated with all the women who would not leave their abuser and refused to cooperate with their prosecution. I could not conceptually grasp h... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, March 1, 2021

When I Broke the Silence

It took me many years to muster up the courage to tell the people in my life what my husband was doing to me. Heads up: When you decide to tell, beware. You may not get the reactions from people you expect or hope for. Some people will surprise you, both in a good way and in a bad way. When I decided to tell my family what he was doing to me I was met with all kinds of reactions and responses, none of which was helpful to me. It quite honestly left me stunned. It's not like they didn... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, February 1, 2021

Finding Legitimacy After the Violence

“When I dare to be powerful—to use my strength in the service of my vision—then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid," Audre Lorde.  Sockless, I slowly attempted to step out of my warm bed; however, my feet suddenly immersed themselves in ice-cold water. The freezing sensation fully woke me up immediately. Next to me, my co-dependent partner of the moment, gently snored, still knocked out from a night-filled fest of cocaine, alcohol, and weed.&nb... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, January 18, 2021

Emerging Hope

Domestic violence altered the course of my life in a way that I never possibly would have imagined ten, twenty even forty years ago. As a woman nearly sixty years old still struggling with effects of abuse, particularly chronic, complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD); I understand how difficult it is to manage life sometimes even if it means surviving simply moment to moment. Today, I am no longer restrained though by abuse or perpetrators who prey on my vulnerabilities – I learn... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, January 4, 2021

NCADV Announces Recognizing (Y)Our Power Workshops

NCADV is excited to share details for our workshop lineup at Recognizing (Y)Our Power! Click on any topic area below to read more details about workshops or just keep scrolling down this page to read all of them. And ... don't forget to register! Activism, Social Justice and Community Outreach  Advanced Advocacy Skills  Anti-Oppression and Racial Justice  Capacity Building and Leadership Children, Teens, and Young A... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Bayer Animal Health Partners with NCADV to Commit $100,000 to Domestic Violence Shelters Supporting Survivors and Their Pets

Staying home is the best way to slow the spread of COVID- 19, yet home is not always a safe place for people who experience domestic violence. Due to increased demands on organizations providing services to families escaping abuse with their pets, Bayer Animal Health is committing $100,000 to help alleviate the amplified strains being put on domestic violence shelters and programs across the country. Organizations can apply for the funding this month through the National Coalition Against Dom... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Action Alert: Contact Congress and Tell Them to Address Survivors' Needs in Next COVID-19 Stimulus Package

Right now, survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are at great risk.  Act now to urge Congress to address the urgent and emerging needs of domestic violence and sexual assault survivors and the programs that serve them during the Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic and resulting disruptions.  Congress is currently working on a phase four stimulus package. It is critical that this package meets the needs of victims, survivors, and everyday people. We have circ... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, April 20, 2020

Action Alert: Organizational Sign-on Letter to Congress

As domestic violence and sexual assault programs and community-based organizations adjust to new service provision, many programs are experiencing an increase in requests for services. Simultaneously, many programs are facing a decrease in donations due to widespread economic fears. As Congress negotiates a phase four COVID-19 supplemental appropriations package, the National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (NTF) is leading an organizational sign-on letter to encourage Congress... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Wednesday, April 15, 2020

The Revictimization Game

At the age of 82, I thought I was long past feeling the poison cocktail of emotions: shame, anxiety, fear, grief, anger and nothing that accompanied being a victim of domestic abuse. Then I read of the social media garbage thrown at high-profile women whose partners have humiliated, stalked, beaten, shot …. I’ll let you fill in the rest. If you’re reading this, you can probably extend the list for three or four more lines. Now I feel all those feelings, but mostly anger. ... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Thursday, January 30, 2020

Officer Involved Domestic Violence: A Survivor Story

It’s a topic that is discussed very little. It’s a topic that the public has little knowledge of. It’s a topic that is not given enough attention: Officer Involved Domestic Violence (OIDV). Estimates vary, yet it’s estimated between 20-40%* of law enforcement families/significant others experience domestic violence. The International Association of Chiefs of Police have developed a model policy. Departments are encouraged to adopt policy, but it is not a req... Read More
Posted by Lynn Brewer-Muse at Monday, June 24, 2019

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Effective October 6, 2022, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) have joined together. To learn more about this exciting venture, to expand the eco-system of holistic and inclusive support for survivors and advocates, please visit Project Opal.